This is a rough script for a video where a malificent professor assigns an outrageous topic. I think it would be very effective as it highlights nearly all the services the writing center provides, and would hopefully appeal to both students who want to do their best and students who doubt their abilities.
(Optimistic Student enters university whistling)- " Its a grand day to learn something new! Nothing wrong could possibly happen today!
(Optimistic Student enters classroom)- "Hello everyone! Isn't the weather phenomenal! Today may be the greatest day of the year!"
(Dubious fellow classmates respond with a tone of obvious reservation)- " I doubt it. I doubt that I have the ability to pass this class. I just know a writing assignment will be on the horizon that will be just beyond me. I doubt the professor will be in a good mood, as I saw him outside talking to the dean, who also looked doubtful.
(In storms angry professor with pipe)- "Hello, CLASS (said sarcastically)! As there are some who refuse to take this class seriously, I have decided that we need some rigorous academic work to sharpen our minds. (Reverse shot to optimistic student, who is visibly dismayed) For our next assignment you must write a twenty page paper showing the relationship between ten topics in our class that must have perfect puncuation and be introduced with a poem with an ABABAAB rhyme scheme and accompanied by a PowerPoint which will include a comprehensive resume. This paper must be in both MLA and APA format, (sinister close up on professor, who announces with relish and possibly tobacco smoke) This project will be 90% of your grade!
(Dubious student abruptly speaks)- I doubt you can smoke that pipe in here professor.
(Professor, infuriated)- NEVER MIND THAT! Don't you have enough to worry about with this intimidating writing assignment? (Cue sinister music) MUHAHAHAHA!
[top down shot of student. The room is black, possibly with grey diagonal streaks on the floor to represent trepidation. A spotlight is activated on the student] (Optimistic Student utters hopelessly)- What am I going to do?
[lights go up] (Dubious student declares) Whenever I'm in doubt I go to the writing center. They can help you become more skilled in all areas of writing!
(Optimistic Student)- Even poetry and Powerpoints that include resumes? Is there any aspect of writing they can't help with?
(Dubious Student)- I doubt it.
From here we could Segway into the optimistic students triumphant entrance into the writing center which would include confetti, saxophones, and pyrotechnics.
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